I remember this one time, in American Pie, when Jason Biggs' character heard that the inside of a women was as warm as sweet apple pie. So Jason's character, Jim, took it upon himself to have sex with an actual apple pie, to only be caught by his father. I remember this one time, in American Pie 2, when Jim, Stifler, and Finch were in some lesbians apartment and were forced to play a truth or dare game with the girls, granted it was more dare than truth. I remember this one time, in American Wedding, when Jim shaved his pubic hair and tried to throw it out the window, to only go all over his wedding cake and future in-laws. I remember this one time, before the American Pie franchise started, when no one heard of Sean William Scott and Eugene Levy was just a bit player in Steve Martin movies. Case in point, the American Pie franchise gave us many laughs over the last ten years. Then came the spin off years.
I don't really remember much about AP: Boot Camp. I never saw AP: Beta House. With the beauty of Netflix, we got to see AP; The Naked Mile. Let me just say this, it's time to close this franchise up. After the first five minutes of the movie, the funny moments were few and far between. My biggest problem with this movie was that they would keep with a scene about five minutes too long. The midget football game was a funny sight gag, but ten minutes of it was too much. Correct me if I'm wrong, but was Steve Stifler (Sean William Scott) a master cocksman in high school. If I remember correctly, he was the one who could throw the parties where OTHER people got laid, not him. Since when did the Stifler name meant that girls would fall all over you.
Imagine watching Lethal Weapon without Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Imagine watching the Ocean 11 movies without Clooney, Pitt, and company. Imagine going to see a superhero movie and not ever seeing the superhero. That's what this movie is, the American Pie name, no substance to follow.
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