If Love Hadn't Left Me Lonely

Normally, I would start off with a long, huge backstory into how I ended up watching a certain movie. Quite frankley, this movie is so bad that the backstory is completly useless. In reviewing a bad movie, the interesting part is how you rip it apart. So here goes!

In almost nine minutes of the movie, the lead character (Mr. French) falls head over heels for a show dancer (not stripper) Lexie (Cindy Herron). From there, the cheesiness begins. How the phrase, "You must be exhausted because you've been running through my mind" didn't make it's way into the movie, I'll never know. We find out that Lexie is going through a divorce and can't get a foothold on her situation because her.....soon to be ex-husband's mother is demanding that she give her daughter over to her son. That's right, the mother of the soon to be ex-husband is making demands that apparently handicaps Lexie's situation. *Just a side note, we never see the over-bearing mother in the movie, which would have been a huge plus! Anyway, Mr. French writes a song about Lexie and then tries to get back into the music business by trying to be old-fashioned with his music. While Mr. French runs into some opposition into selling his music, Lexie, who had played hard to get throughout the first part, is now comfortable with him enough to sleep with him. Ten seconds later, she's back with her husband. I always hate it when ten seconds in a movie goes by and in the story it's been 3 weeks. I got a kick how they were going to promote a huge concert featuring old music and new music together. I was thinking the event would take place in a huge stadium or concert setting, instead we get a stage that the Addison Improv can squash. I suppose putting Ice-T and Gary Busey in the movie tried to lend some credibillity to the movie, while in reality, it didn't! Of course the biggest WTF moment for me was when David Alan Grier, who wasn't even in the movie, shows up in the credits. Melissa said, "Where was David Alan Grier?" One second later, he shows up being interviewed about Mr. French's music.

The ongoing joke between Melissa and I was we orginally thought this was a lifetime movie, due to the pauses in the movie that would signal a commerical interruption. Then we heard the F-word, and that put that to rest. In some scenes you couldn't hear Mr. French talking, while the person he was talking had a booming voice. From WTF moments to Mr. French fighting like William Shatner's Captain Kirk to noticing that the couch from Mr. French's house was the same couch in the studio, this movie was horrible!